You've read our articles summarizing the content coming out of Beyonce. You've read our articles summarizing what you can expect from Lady Gaga. So I guess it's no surprise what results when the two of them team up. It's racy, it's explicit... and it's the number one downloaded video on iTunes right now.

I'm referring to the brand new hit music video for Lady Gaga's Telephone. Beyonce joins her for this 10-minute music video that CNN calls the most "anticipated, dissected and discussed video in months."

This video (WARNNG- This video doesn't say EXPLICIT content- but, even though it has no actual nudity, I think most of you will find it rather explicit) offers a little bit of everything that Gaga knows will sell: girl-on-girl kissing, blurred nudity (I've noticed that a lot of videos and TV are doing this lately. They show nudity, but simply pixilate anything explicit), racy outfits (Gaga devotes a good portion of screen time to dancing in a thong bikini), mass murder (complete with props from a Tarentino's Kill Bill), explicit words... and plenty of "eye candy." I've already seen several versions of the video. One (the iTunes version) shows her almost completely naked spread eagle with her crotch blurred out. Then one of the female prison guards comments, "I told you she didn't have a d**k."

I guess Gaga really wanted to clear up any misconception that she was a hermaphrodite.

The video really is receiving a lot of buzz. It reminds me of the buzz that Michael Jackson's Thriller received when I was a kid. Everyone just HAD to see the video (I saw it at my friend Kevin's house). Fast forward 20 years and I guess Michael would have had to have been naked for that one.

REACTING... NOT OVERREACTING
Parents and youth workers-- sadly, many of our kids will probably see this video. It's all over the web. Even if we block explicit content, very often YouTube and iTunes will avoid those blocks, and both provide the explicit version of the video.

So it's this simple. Have conversations with our kids about these kind of videos. If we are relying on "Cybernanny" to do the job for us.... we're falling short. We need to talk with our kids about simply avoiding this kind of eye candy. Fathers, talk with our sons about what the Bible means when it says to "FLEE" sexual immorality. We don't need images in our heads of Gaga in a thong.

Keeping aware of popular media in our youth culture can open the door to conversations with today's teenagers. Let's keep that door open by not over-reacting, but engaging in a healthy dialogue (like the Apostle Paul did in Acts 17). As parents, balance dialogue with boundaries. It's okay to say, "This doesn't belong in our house." That generally works better than lighting the computer on fire and grounding our kids for 6 months!

Are you prepared to talk with your kids about using discernment when choosing what videos they watch? And for those of our kids that already have seen it.... are your prepared to discuss what they saw?

When I met my wife 20 years ago, we were both 19 and had been living life for ourselves. A lot of consequences result from this kind of living, and the two of us faced the fallout of some of those consequences together even as we got involved in our church, grew closer to God, and to each other.

Just before we met, Lori had been dating a guy who was... how can I say it? ... a "playa." Reflecting on this relationship, Lori always shares, "How could I have been so stupid? I knew he was going to be with other girls from the start of the relationship, but I somehow convinced myself that he wouldn't do that to me. But he did, over and over again."

Painful memories for Lori. Maybe that's why the #1 hit on the music charts today, Break Your Heart, irritates her so much.

"The song is trying to justify this kind of playa lifestyle," she implores. Lori, a mom of 12 and 14-year-old girls, also mentors a small group of junior high girls at our church. "It's the kind of lie that today's young girls are buying.

This candid new song, Break Your Heart, is by Taio Cruz. He'd probably just argue that he's "keeping it real." Because he and rapper Ludacris make their intentions clear throughout the song. "I'm going to hurt you." "I've got a problem with misbehavin."

Oh... well then I guess it's okay then. As long as he admits it up front, right?

(I just spent a little bit of time talking about Ludacris and his typical content in the latter half of my blog about Britney fans last week. Grown ups are even embracing artists like Luda.)

David R. Smith does an incredible job at unpacking this song in this week's Youth Culture Window article, Low Expectations for Love. In the article, he not only provides us with information about the song and the artist, he also shares some concern about the impact on our girls' self esteem. He wraps up the article by providing some questions that we can ask our teeenagers about this song, or more importantly, this mindset. I encourage you to read that article.

Yesterday my son Alec (16) was talking with me about girls at his school. He and a few friends were sharing how quick and easy girls are to provide sexual favors to guys today. Girls are growing up in a world that not only convinces them that they need to dress like a hootchie, but that they need to be sexual objects. Now songs like Break Your Heart seem to be conveying, "Some guys are like this... and that's okay."

With today's "hookup" mentality, this probably isn't a big deal. Hooking up basically means "being sexually active for fun, with no strings attached." Perhaps Cruz and Ludacris think that today's "Hookup" generation won't feel any guilt or regret when they're treated like an object.

If they only knew how many tears were shed the day after.

What messages are your kids hearing from songs like this?

Earlier this week I was swimming laps at my local pool (some of you might remember my blog about when I first began doing this with my kids). Sometimes it's hard to time it right-- there are a lot of other activities and clubs that use the pool. Sometimes we end up on one side of the pool doing laps in a few lane lines, while water aerobics claim the other half of the pool. That's what happened this week. I was swimming laps while about 14 sweet little ol' ladies were being led through a 30-minute water aerobics workout on the other side of the pool.

I wasn't paying much attention to what was going on. But during some kickboard laps I had my head out of the water long enough to hear the music selection... and you'll never guess what it was! (okay... the title of the blog does give ya a hint!)

I didn't expect Lawrence Welk... I mean... this is water aerobics. I would expect something with rythm. But I didn't expect Britney's song, If You Seek Amy!

Yeah. No kidding. Here are a group of sweet little old 80 and 90 year old ladies dancing to the lyrics:

love me hate me say what you want about me
but all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to EF - U - C - K me.

Then, for those of you who have read the lyrics or are aware of the song... you hear the digital voice in the background saying "f**k me, f**k me."

I actually stopped and looked over to see if any of them realized what they were dancing to. I don't think they did.

The aerobics instructor, a young 30-something woman, went on to play Black Eyed Peas and a bunch of other current music with no regard to content. I chuckled and went back to my workout. I guess I was correct when I wrote, "No Wonder Our Kids Listen to It."

I guess I shouldn't be surprised with this at all in today's culture. Adults are readily embracing racy and degrading lyrics. Earlier this week rapper Ludacris filled in for Regis on the Regis and Kelly show. I checked out about 20 minutes of the show. Kelly went on and on about how she had all of Luda's CDs, etc. Think about this. Kelly is a mom, my age listening to Ludacris lyrics. I can't help but just wonder, Has she ever stopped and thought about what Ludachris is rapping about? I guess she doesn't mind being referred to as a "bi*ch" or a "ho."

She obviously doesn't mind the way his girls dance.

Hmmmmmm.

Sigh.

Tis the season to train our leaders, I guess. Because that's what I'm spending most of my time doing lately.

I just got back from a rewarding weekend in Oskaloosa, Iowa where my dad and I did our NEW BREED training workshop together for pastors, youth workers and volunteer managers in the greater Iowa area. Great people! It was a blast spending a whole day helping these leaders think strategically about mobilizing the 21st Century Volunteer. We got some great feedback from the group; they seemed to walk away with a ton of great ideas for recruiting, managing and training volunteers.

I really enjoy training pastors and youth leaders. I get to turn around in a couple of weeks and do my CONNECT workshop at a huge Youth for Christ conference near the coast of Maryland. Then I'll do my parenting workshop a couple weeks later at a church in South Bend, IN, and again a month later in NJ.

Here's a peek at my speaking/training schedule so far for this year:

Jonathan will be speaking or training
at the following locations:

January 8-9, 2010 (Nashville, TN)

CONNECT Training Workshop, Our Savior Lutheran Church

January 16-17, 2010 (Beckley, WV)

Youth Ski Conference, CTI Group Adventures

February 5-7, 2010 (Dallas, PA)

Junior High Winterblast, Camp Orchard Hill

February 26- 28, 2010 (East Troy, WI)

Timberlee, WinterXtreme

March 6, 2010 (Oskaloosa, IA)

Volunteer Power Workshop

March 26-28, 2010 (Baltimore, MD)

Keynote Speaker, Impact 2010

April 10, 2010 (South Bend, IN)

Preach/Parent Workshop, Trinity EV FREE Church

April 17, 2010 (Saint Louis, MO)

Faithfest 2010, St. Louis network of churches

May 15-16, 2010 (Jackson, NJ)

Youth Rally, Preach, Parent/Youth Worker Workshop

July 11-16, 2010 (Hordville, NE)

Covenant Cedars Bible Camp, Summer Camp

October 2-4, 2010 (San Diego, CA)

Training Workshops, Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention

I'm still booking summer and fall speaking/training dates. Feel free to contact me if you'd like to bring me out for speaking or doing any of these workshops for your group.

Last night Lori and I were ware watching the most recent episode of NBC's Chuck. Chuck has a new girlfriend... and apparently they're already sleeping together.

This is the norm on TV today. The sad reality is, while these TV messages are continuing to preach, "This is the smart thing to do!" ...research shows quite the opposite.

A few days ago the New York Times featured an article, Study Finds Cohabiting Doesn't Make a Union Last. Here's just a snippit:

Couples who live together before they get married are less likely to stay married, a new study has found. But their chances improve if they were already engaged when they began living together.

The likelihood that a marriage would last for a decade or more decreased by six percentage points if the couple had cohabited first, the study found.

The study of men and women ages 15 to 44 was done by the National Center for Health Statistics using data from the National Survey of Family Growth conducted in 2002. The authors define cohabitation as people who live with a sexual partner of the opposite sex.

“From the perspective of many young adults, marrying without living together first seems quite foolish,” said Prof. Pamela J. Smock, a research professor at the Population Studies Center at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. “Just because some academic studies have shown that living together may increase the chance of divorce somewhat, young adults themselves don’t believe that.”

The authors found that the proportion of women in their late 30s who had ever cohabited had doubled in 15 years, to 61 percent.

The article goes on to discuss the chances of marriages lasting for couples who are college graduates, couples who marry after age 26, couples who have a baby soon, etc.

TV says, "If it feels right, do it." Studies like the one above give a clearer glimpse at the truth. So what are our kids going to believe? In a world where kids age 8-18 years old average 4 hours and 29 minutes of television programming each and every day... what message do you think they're going to hear?

Well... not to inundate you with articles, but this Washington Post article says it pretty clearly even with the title of the article, TV shows spur earlier sex for kids. The article contends, "According to the study, 6- to 8-year-old children who watch prime-time, network television shows with adult content are more likely to have sex when they're 12 to 14 years old than 6- to 8-year-olds who do not see those shows." David's current Youth Culture Window article on our web site, The Lure of the Glowing Screen, covers this thoroughly. David really emphasizes the fact that parents can make a difference by setting screen limits and boundaries.

Sadly, some of the kids that need these boundaries, are the ones with terrible relationships with their parents to begin with. This article citing a brand new report in the March issue of Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine reveals that "teens who spend more time watching television or using computers appear to have poorer relationships with their parents and peers."

Notice a pattern here?

Parents and caring adults need to talk about these issues with their students. We can't just leave the TV on and hope all is well. We can't assume that one week of "sex ed" at school is going to set our kids straight. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy did a recent online survey asking guys questions about sex, love, contraception and relationships. In that survey, they found that guys are just as likely to say that pornography influences their attitudes and decisions about sex as they are to cite sex education.

Hmmmm.

These same guys said they'd rather have sex with someone who is "super hot" than with someone who is "smart and funny." But 78% would rather be in a relationship with someone who is smart and funny than someone who is super hot. (Interesting survey- you can check out the whole thing here.)

Don't give up. Caring adults need to constantly dialogue with our kids about these issues.

I'm going to try to behave with this post.

As I write this, on March 2nd, Lil Wayne was supposed to be formally sentenced today and begin his jail time. (I can't say that I was all teary eyed about it.) This morning MTV News even began their article on the subject with the words, "Barring any colossally unforeseen circumstances..."

Were those words prophetic? Because a fire broke out in the courthouse and his sentencing was delayed AGAIN!

Hmmmmmm.

RollingStone provides some details about the fire here... so does every other online newspaper.

I've chimed in on Lil Wayne's music, his "role model" status, and his journey to prison before in this blog. My feelings are pretty evident on the matter. Lil Wayne is a pervert and a thug who is doing a great job at providing distracting content in the ears of our young people today. (How was that? Was that nice enough?)

I don't want to seem unsympathetic. Lil Wayne needs Christ. And I hope that if I met him, Jesus would step in and show His love through me for Wayne. But at the same time, Wayne's content is very distressing to me. I see the effect it's having on young people today, and it saddens me. I'm hoping that his year in jail might make him think.

MTV News gave a little more details about the sentencing he was supposed to receive today. Here's a snippet:

Barring any colossally unforeseen circumstances (or eight more root canals), Lil Wayne will be formally sentenced and finally turn himself in to begin his one-year prison sentence in New York on Tuesday (March 2).

The sentencing was scheduled for last month, but Wayne's attorney requested a delay due to dental surgery the rapper required. Judge Charles H. Solomon agreed to the last-minute request and rescheduled the proceedings for March 2. The New Orleans MC has had more time than he requested to recover from a reported eight root canals in one day.

"I don't want this to get pushed back anymore," Judge Solomon told the rapper's lawyer during his last appearance. "This is the last adjournment."

Now with the fire... we'll have to just wait and see.

I just got back from a weekend speaking at a camp... a weekend where I was unplugged for three days. Kind of nice. Now I'm checking email and catching up on articles for the first time... and WOW!

I just read our new Youth Culture Window article David posted while I was gone, The Lure of Glowing Screens. What a revealing article about teenagers and the time they spend staring at the all mighty screen.

This is David's third article in the series we've done about the Kaiser Family Foundations amazing new "entertainment media" study. I'm not going to bother summarizing his thoughts... you really should just read it. But here's a few snippits that I found particularly disturbing/revealing:

The content available to kids online is constantly growing and changing. Unfortunately, many of those changes are not good.

For instance, one of the biggest buzzes in youth culture this past week has been the explosion in popularity of a website called ChatRoulette. This is a site that allows users to employ their computer-mounted webcam to chat with any other person using the site at the same time. If you don’t like who you’re looking at, you just hit “next,” and in true roulette fashion, another site user is randomly assigned to your computer screen.

During the writing of this article, I visited the site for about 7 minutes to see what the buzz was all about. In that time, I clicked through mainly guys – no surprise there – about 60 in total, 4 of whom were openly masturbating. In the same 7 minutes, I only saw 2 women…but one of them was doing a topless strip tease.    

Are you still sure you want a computer in your child’s bedroom?

Crazy, huh? Now some good news from his article.

The leading influence on kids’ lives has been debated for quite a while; some think it’s media, while others believe it’s parents. In fact, the answer is “it depends.”  

In households where parents monitor media and make sure to spend quality time with their kids on a daily basis, “parents” are the leading influence on kids’ lives. But in homes where parents delegate quality time with their kids to screens, “media” gladly steps into the void and becomes a surrogate parent.

But there’s hope. Kids will respond and react to the influence offered by parents. For instance, KFF discovered that when parents did set limits on screen time, children spent less time with media…far less time, in fact. Kids in homes with any media rules consumed almost 3 hours (2:52) less media each day than kids in homes with no rules. That’s huge!

So parents please don’t throw in the towel. You can make a difference…a big difference!

I encourage you to read the whole article here.