Earlier this week I was swimming laps at my local pool (some of you might remember my blog about when I first began doing this with my kids). Sometimes it's hard to time it right-- there are a lot of other activities and clubs that use the pool. Sometimes we end up on one side of the pool doing laps in a few lane lines, while water aerobics claim the other half of the pool. That's what happened this week. I was swimming laps while about 14 sweet little ol' ladies were being led through a 30-minute water aerobics workout on the other side of the pool.

I wasn't paying much attention to what was going on. But during some kickboard laps I had my head out of the water long enough to hear the music selection... and you'll never guess what it was! (okay... the title of the blog does give ya a hint!)

I didn't expect Lawrence Welk... I mean... this is water aerobics. I would expect something with rythm. But I didn't expect Britney's song, If You Seek Amy!

Yeah. No kidding. Here are a group of sweet little old 80 and 90 year old ladies dancing to the lyrics:

love me hate me say what you want about me
but all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to EF - U - C - K me.

Then, for those of you who have read the lyrics or are aware of the song... you hear the digital voice in the background saying "f**k me, f**k me."

I actually stopped and looked over to see if any of them realized what they were dancing to. I don't think they did.

The aerobics instructor, a young 30-something woman, went on to play Black Eyed Peas and a bunch of other current music with no regard to content. I chuckled and went back to my workout. I guess I was correct when I wrote, "No Wonder Our Kids Listen to It."

I guess I shouldn't be surprised with this at all in today's culture. Adults are readily embracing racy and degrading lyrics. Earlier this week rapper Ludacris filled in for Regis on the Regis and Kelly show. I checked out about 20 minutes of the show. Kelly went on and on about how she had all of Luda's CDs, etc. Think about this. Kelly is a mom, my age listening to Ludacris lyrics. I can't help but just wonder, Has she ever stopped and thought about what Ludachris is rapping about? I guess she doesn't mind being referred to as a "bi*ch" or a "ho."

She obviously doesn't mind the way his girls dance.

Hmmmmmm.

Sigh.

Tis the season to train our leaders, I guess. Because that's what I'm spending most of my time doing lately.

I just got back from a rewarding weekend in Oskaloosa, Iowa where my dad and I did our NEW BREED training workshop together for pastors, youth workers and volunteer managers in the greater Iowa area. Great people! It was a blast spending a whole day helping these leaders think strategically about mobilizing the 21st Century Volunteer. We got some great feedback from the group; they seemed to walk away with a ton of great ideas for recruiting, managing and training volunteers.

I really enjoy training pastors and youth leaders. I get to turn around in a couple of weeks and do my CONNECT workshop at a huge Youth for Christ conference near the coast of Maryland. Then I'll do my parenting workshop a couple weeks later at a church in South Bend, IN, and again a month later in NJ.

Here's a peek at my speaking/training schedule so far for this year:

Jonathan will be speaking or training
at the following locations:

January 8-9, 2010 (Nashville, TN)

CONNECT Training Workshop, Our Savior Lutheran Church

January 16-17, 2010 (Beckley, WV)

Youth Ski Conference, CTI Group Adventures

February 5-7, 2010 (Dallas, PA)

Junior High Winterblast, Camp Orchard Hill

February 26- 28, 2010 (East Troy, WI)

Timberlee, WinterXtreme

March 6, 2010 (Oskaloosa, IA)

Volunteer Power Workshop

March 26-28, 2010 (Baltimore, MD)

Keynote Speaker, Impact 2010

April 10, 2010 (South Bend, IN)

Preach/Parent Workshop, Trinity EV FREE Church

April 17, 2010 (Saint Louis, MO)

Faithfest 2010, St. Louis network of churches

May 15-16, 2010 (Jackson, NJ)

Youth Rally, Preach, Parent/Youth Worker Workshop

July 11-16, 2010 (Hordville, NE)

Covenant Cedars Bible Camp, Summer Camp

October 2-4, 2010 (San Diego, CA)

Training Workshops, Youth Specialties National Youth Workers Convention

I'm still booking summer and fall speaking/training dates. Feel free to contact me if you'd like to bring me out for speaking or doing any of these workshops for your group.

Last night Lori and I were ware watching the most recent episode of NBC's Chuck. Chuck has a new girlfriend... and apparently they're already sleeping together.

This is the norm on TV today. The sad reality is, while these TV messages are continuing to preach, "This is the smart thing to do!" ...research shows quite the opposite.

A few days ago the New York Times featured an article, Study Finds Cohabiting Doesn't Make a Union Last. Here's just a snippit:

Couples who live together before they get married are less likely to stay married, a new study has found. But their chances improve if they were already engaged when they began living together.

The likelihood that a marriage would last for a decade or more decreased by six percentage points if the couple had cohabited first, the study found.

The study of men and women ages 15 to 44 was done by the National Center for Health Statistics using data from the National Survey of Family Growth conducted in 2002. The authors define cohabitation as people who live with a sexual partner of the opposite sex.

“From the perspective of many young adults, marrying without living together first seems quite foolish,” said Prof. Pamela J. Smock, a research professor at the Population Studies Center at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. “Just because some academic studies have shown that living together may increase the chance of divorce somewhat, young adults themselves don’t believe that.”

The authors found that the proportion of women in their late 30s who had ever cohabited had doubled in 15 years, to 61 percent.

The article goes on to discuss the chances of marriages lasting for couples who are college graduates, couples who marry after age 26, couples who have a baby soon, etc.

TV says, "If it feels right, do it." Studies like the one above give a clearer glimpse at the truth. So what are our kids going to believe? In a world where kids age 8-18 years old average 4 hours and 29 minutes of television programming each and every day... what message do you think they're going to hear?

Well... not to inundate you with articles, but this Washington Post article says it pretty clearly even with the title of the article, TV shows spur earlier sex for kids. The article contends, "According to the study, 6- to 8-year-old children who watch prime-time, network television shows with adult content are more likely to have sex when they're 12 to 14 years old than 6- to 8-year-olds who do not see those shows." David's current Youth Culture Window article on our web site, The Lure of the Glowing Screen, covers this thoroughly. David really emphasizes the fact that parents can make a difference by setting screen limits and boundaries.

Sadly, some of the kids that need these boundaries, are the ones with terrible relationships with their parents to begin with. This article citing a brand new report in the March issue of Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine reveals that "teens who spend more time watching television or using computers appear to have poorer relationships with their parents and peers."

Notice a pattern here?

Parents and caring adults need to talk about these issues with their students. We can't just leave the TV on and hope all is well. We can't assume that one week of "sex ed" at school is going to set our kids straight. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy did a recent online survey asking guys questions about sex, love, contraception and relationships. In that survey, they found that guys are just as likely to say that pornography influences their attitudes and decisions about sex as they are to cite sex education.

Hmmmm.

These same guys said they'd rather have sex with someone who is "super hot" than with someone who is "smart and funny." But 78% would rather be in a relationship with someone who is smart and funny than someone who is super hot. (Interesting survey- you can check out the whole thing here.)

Don't give up. Caring adults need to constantly dialogue with our kids about these issues.

I'm going to try to behave with this post.

As I write this, on March 2nd, Lil Wayne was supposed to be formally sentenced today and begin his jail time. (I can't say that I was all teary eyed about it.) This morning MTV News even began their article on the subject with the words, "Barring any colossally unforeseen circumstances..."

Were those words prophetic? Because a fire broke out in the courthouse and his sentencing was delayed AGAIN!

Hmmmmmm.

RollingStone provides some details about the fire here... so does every other online newspaper.

I've chimed in on Lil Wayne's music, his "role model" status, and his journey to prison before in this blog. My feelings are pretty evident on the matter. Lil Wayne is a pervert and a thug who is doing a great job at providing distracting content in the ears of our young people today. (How was that? Was that nice enough?)

I don't want to seem unsympathetic. Lil Wayne needs Christ. And I hope that if I met him, Jesus would step in and show His love through me for Wayne. But at the same time, Wayne's content is very distressing to me. I see the effect it's having on young people today, and it saddens me. I'm hoping that his year in jail might make him think.

MTV News gave a little more details about the sentencing he was supposed to receive today. Here's a snippet:

Barring any colossally unforeseen circumstances (or eight more root canals), Lil Wayne will be formally sentenced and finally turn himself in to begin his one-year prison sentence in New York on Tuesday (March 2).

The sentencing was scheduled for last month, but Wayne's attorney requested a delay due to dental surgery the rapper required. Judge Charles H. Solomon agreed to the last-minute request and rescheduled the proceedings for March 2. The New Orleans MC has had more time than he requested to recover from a reported eight root canals in one day.

"I don't want this to get pushed back anymore," Judge Solomon told the rapper's lawyer during his last appearance. "This is the last adjournment."

Now with the fire... we'll have to just wait and see.

I just got back from a weekend speaking at a camp... a weekend where I was unplugged for three days. Kind of nice. Now I'm checking email and catching up on articles for the first time... and WOW!

I just read our new Youth Culture Window article David posted while I was gone, The Lure of Glowing Screens. What a revealing article about teenagers and the time they spend staring at the all mighty screen.

This is David's third article in the series we've done about the Kaiser Family Foundations amazing new "entertainment media" study. I'm not going to bother summarizing his thoughts... you really should just read it. But here's a few snippits that I found particularly disturbing/revealing:

The content available to kids online is constantly growing and changing. Unfortunately, many of those changes are not good.

For instance, one of the biggest buzzes in youth culture this past week has been the explosion in popularity of a website called ChatRoulette. This is a site that allows users to employ their computer-mounted webcam to chat with any other person using the site at the same time. If you don’t like who you’re looking at, you just hit “next,” and in true roulette fashion, another site user is randomly assigned to your computer screen.

During the writing of this article, I visited the site for about 7 minutes to see what the buzz was all about. In that time, I clicked through mainly guys – no surprise there – about 60 in total, 4 of whom were openly masturbating. In the same 7 minutes, I only saw 2 women…but one of them was doing a topless strip tease.    

Are you still sure you want a computer in your child’s bedroom?

Crazy, huh? Now some good news from his article.

The leading influence on kids’ lives has been debated for quite a while; some think it’s media, while others believe it’s parents. In fact, the answer is “it depends.”  

In households where parents monitor media and make sure to spend quality time with their kids on a daily basis, “parents” are the leading influence on kids’ lives. But in homes where parents delegate quality time with their kids to screens, “media” gladly steps into the void and becomes a surrogate parent.

But there’s hope. Kids will respond and react to the influence offered by parents. For instance, KFF discovered that when parents did set limits on screen time, children spent less time with media…far less time, in fact. Kids in homes with any media rules consumed almost 3 hours (2:52) less media each day than kids in homes with no rules. That’s huge!

So parents please don’t throw in the towel. You can make a difference…a big difference!

I encourage you to read the whole article here.

Earlier this week I blogged a little about the Black Eyed Peas hit song Imma Be rapidly climbing the charts. As I wrote that blog, it was #1 on iTunes and #3 on Billboard. This morning as I sat in the airport waiting for my flight, I noticed that it just rose to #1 on Billboard Hot 100 now as well. That is the third song from this album to hit #1.

Imma Be is an interesting song. I won't rehash my blog from earlier this week- I encourage you to check it out, especially the YouTube video I posted of three "tweens" dancing to the song and singing the lyrics... yes... even the foul lyrics.

But now I find it interesting once again to look at the Billboard Hot 100. Take a peek at merely the top 5 songs right now:

Wow. Do a quick Google search on the lyrics of those songs... you'll be amazed what this generation is cherishing as the "top songs."

Sigh.

Does Google make us stupid? That particular question almost became viral when tech scholar and analyst Nicholas Carr wrote a cover story with that cover line for Atlantic Monthly Magazine in 2008. The Pew Research Center decided to do a study asking experts the validity of this claim and others. I think you'll find the results intriguing.

Funny, last year my 15-year-old son asked me, "Dad, when you were a kid, what search engine did you use to..."

I interrupted him. "Alec, when I was a kid there WAS NO internet."

His eyes grew as big as saucers. "What?!!"

After pondering how my son had possibly missed this fact for 15 years of his life, I continued. "Yes, when I was a kid, Al Gore hadn't invented the internet yet. We actually had to go to libraries!"

It's funny to think about life before the internet. I remember in the early 90's when a buddy of mine first showed me this thing I had been hearing about called the World Wide Web. I remember the first time browsing AOL, searching "Alta Vista" and hearing a computerized voice declare, "You've got mail!"

Ah... those were the days.

So the question is: after almost two decades of the internet, are we smarter, or dumber?

The quick answer is "smarter," according to new research from Pew Internet & American Life Project (I subscribe to their emails- The Pew Research Center does great surveys and studies). This web-based survey gathered opinions from prominent scientists, business leaders, consultants, writers and technology developers.

Here's just a snippet from their findings:

• Three out of four experts said our use of the Internet enhances and augments human intelligence
• Two-thirds said use of the Internet has improved reading, writing and rendering of knowledge
• Google won’t make us stupid: 76% of these experts agreed with the statement, "By 2020, people’s use of the Internet has enhanced human intelligence; as people are allowed unprecedented access to more information they become smarter and make better choices."

You can read the whole summary here.

My two cents:
After hearing years of criticism of the internet, I found it interesting to hear the majority of these "experts" vote in favor of it.

I find it funny how some people seem to want to label the internet either all bad, or all good. This kind of polar thinking is nonsensical. That's like proclaiming that all automobiles are bad when your child is struck by a car. Yes, people sometimes drive drunk and kill people. Used tires, hydrocarbons... I'm sure the list goes on. But next time you buy a basket of strawberries in Pennsylvania in January, ask yourself, "Where did this strawberry come from?" (Its journey involved a big diesel truck, I promise you) And consider families visiting each other across state lines. Or call a car bad when you need a 30 mile drive to a hospital, stat! Both good and bad has resulted from the invention of the automobile. 

Such is true with the internet. Sure, the internet offers plenty of ways for people to get into trouble. But personally, I can attest to doors God has opened to do incredible ministry through the internet. God has helped our ministry at www.TheSource4YM.com provide free resources for parents and youth workers around the world for a decade now. If someone needs free youth ministry training, they can just click a button. We could not have done this ministry in 1980.

We get regular emails from across the globe of people who have used our free ministry resources to make an eternal impact in teenagers in their community. Think about that. I write a Bible study or a sermon and hit a button that says POST. Five minutes later a youth worker in the Philiippines downloads it and leads someone to Christ or helps a group of teenagers grow in their faith.

The internet brings both good and bad. And if you've been on my blog even a few times, you'll see that I'm a huge advocate of helping parents teach discernment and create boundaries with the internet just like they would any other media source (I blogged about that just yesterday with the new #1 Black Eyed Peas song). But they can also use it for learning, building community and even growing spiritually. As I write this blog, my son is 12 feet from me on another computer logged into his youth group's blog, adding comments to something his youth pastor shared with the group online.

Hmmmmm.